My first hook-up (in Roman Urdu)

Jabh apni kahani likhna shuru kari tu yadon ke darice khulte chale gae, aur main apni sochon ke mehwar main doobta chala gaya, hosh jab aya jab aik mohsin nai phone kia aur text messages kiye kai main aisa na karon khud ko logon kay samne na open karon.

Main nai socha kai aisa kuch na karon mgr phir khayal aya kai nahi, agr mai nai aisa na kia tu apni mout aap hi mar jaon gaa.

“Koi hamdard hai na koi masiha. Akhir kis say apne dil ki bat kahon? Koi hai jo mujh ko samjhe?

Zindagi bhar dosron ko samjhte ar dosron ki marzi ke hisab say jete guzri hai aur aaj jabh main nai apna haq manga tu sirf zilat, ruswai, badnami, bewafai aur tanhai mere hisse main aye….

“Zindagi bojh ban gae Galib,

Hum tu iss jene k hathon mar chale.”

Tu main tha apne makan malik ke sath guzre howe lamhat par. Mere makan malik ki omr koi 40-45 ke darmyan hogi, PIA main job karte thy, begum bhi thi aur meri umr ke 2 bete bhi thy mgr phir bhi niyat kharab. Main dil pasheman, apne gher per agaya tha, jo pese mile thy us say form jama karaya fe ada ki aur baqi pese aik taraf utha kar rakh diye, meri adapt thi k aik dairy likha karta tha jis main roz hone wali koi na koi khas baat zaroor likhta tha, (baad main dairy likhna chor di thi, wajha ka zikr ane wale safhat main karon gaa).

Ammi mujh ko pareshan dekhti thi tu pochti thi k kia baat hai koi masla hai tu mujh ko batao. Mgr main hamesha taal deta tha k bus study ya daftr ka koi mamala hai hal ho jana hai.

Ahista ahista din guzrte gaye, main apne imtihanat ki tayari main lag gaya, isi doran jahan main nokri karta tha wahan aik larka (aaj kal Canada ya USA main hai) ne mujh say dosti barhana shuru kari, who larka kuch achi shuhrat nahi rakhta tha, ulte sedhe kam karma, nasha karna us ka kaam tha, late night gher jana aur dair tak awara gardi karna us ka mashghala tha. Main nai aik fasle say us say salam dua karna shuru kari, aik din us ne mujh ko kaha ke mere sath lunch par chalo, main nai kaha k main tu apna lunch sath hi lata hon (lunchsath nahi lata tha jhoot bola tha, kiun k hum sirf subh ka nashta ar raat ka khaa khate thy). Uss neb ht zid kari aur kaa k sirf main aur tum ja rahe hain aur gulshan main hi mojood Piza hut par jain gay. Main nai 2 baje ka tym rakh lia. Who Suzuki VXR main ata ta, main nai apne boss say kaha k aaj lunch karne bahar jar aha hon 40-45 minutes main wapis ajaon ga. Tu bos ne ijazat day dali. Main us ke sath nikal para, hum pizza hut gay, wahan who apni batain hi karta raha aur after lunch us ne sirf aik hi bat kahi, “mujh ko sahara chahiye, kia tum mera sahara bano gay?” main nai pocha “kesa sahara?” us nai kaha kay zindagi main aik dost ki kami hai tym pass bht hain gr dost nahi, main apna future banana chahta hon, in sab dhadhon say bahar nikalna chata hon mgr koi rasta nazr nahi araha.” Main nai kaha main kia kar sakta hon, main khud apni pareshaniun main ulkjha howa hon, us nai kaha k hum join study karain gay, aur ziada say ziada tym aik dosre k sath guzre gay na mujh ko fursat hogi na hi main awara gardi karon ga. Main nai kush soch kar kaha k theek hai.

Uss din ke bad say aik hafta tak meri us larke say koi mulaqat nahi hoi. Main nai bhi kch ziada serious nahi lia aur apne kamon main ashghool raha. Aik din shaam main jab main noukri say farig ho kar ar tuition parha kar apne gher puhanca tu who larka pehle say mere ghr k bus stop par khara howa tha. Main nai heran ho kar pocha, “tum yahan kia kar rahe ho’? us ne koi jawab nahi diya aur muskura diya, meri kuch samjh nahi araha tha ke main kia karon> is larke ko gher lejana munasib nahi ami bht ghussa hongi (ami hamesha kisi ko bhi gher tak lane say mana karti thi). Majboran hum aik tea hotel par baith gai. Mera budgt bht limited howa karta tha us par is tarhan kifazol kharchi ki mujh ko ijazat nahi thi. Phir bhi hum beth gai, us nai mujh ko kuch books din ar kaa k yar mere 2 assigment bana do aur chahao tu is k pese le lo, pehle tu mujh ko bht ghusa aa mgr thora dair baad main nai hami bhr li filhal is  say jan churana zaroori hai baad ki baad main dekhi jae ge.

Uss nai mujh ko 2 assigment ke hazar 1000/= dene ka kaha aur 500/= in advance day gaya aur sath ye bhi kaha k yeah kam karna chaho tu main aur le aon gaa. “Yeah tu achi khasi kamai ka rasta hai,” yehi soch kar main nai us ko kaha k haan haan kiun nahi le ana main bana don gaa.

Iss tarhan aik aur nokri shuru, college k larkon ke asigment bana kar dena shuru kia tu mere hath main izafi raqm bhi ana shuru ho gai.

6 month ke baad mere pas 25 hazar ki raqm jama ho gait hi, abh samjh main yea nahi araha tha keh iss raqm ka kia karon? Ami ko kia bataon? Kese kharch karon? Agr kharch karta tu ami ko pata lag jata aura mi meri jan ko aik mushkil main dal deti. Sach bolta tu thik thaak batain sune aur mar parne ke sath sath be izati ka bhi khatra tha.

Main nai who raqm samhal kar rakhi. Humare porane makan malik say jo pese liye thy who dene un ki taraf gaya tu paa laga ke who log gher bech kar Lahore shift ho gaye hain (shayad un ki posting wahan ho gai hogi) main nai dil main socha k “shukr jan chooti, dobara milte tu jane phir say wohi karte” phir bhi main nai un ki behn k gher say un ka Lahore ka address liya ar un say li hoi raqm ko money order kar dia.

Isi doran mere imtihan shuru ho gae, aur sath hi sath meri aik sis ki shadi ki tayari bhi, ami nai aik rishta daikh kar foran hi shadi ka faisla kar lia tha. Kuch ami nai jama ka thakuch amiqarz le rahi thi. Main nai bhi is mouqe ko ghanimat jante howe ami ko kaha k main nai bhi kuch pese jama kiye hain aap who bhi mila lain shadi ke kharche main. Ami nai kuch soch kar kaha k kitne pese hain main nai sari raqm ami k hath main rakh di (raqm 45 hazar ho chuki thi). Ami nai jabh gini tu aik jhatke say khari ho gai aur mujh ko qasmain de de kar pochne lagi k kaha say arahi hai ye raqm? Konsa ghlt kaam shuru kia hai, main itne salon main 10 hazar nahi jama kar saki hon tu nai etni bari raqm kese jama kar li. Main nai ami ko bht samjhaya mgr who sirf sach hi sunna chahti thi. Main nai himat kar kea mi ko sach suna hi dia ke main logon k assignment banata hon, un ki jaga papar deta hon blah blah. Ami ki ankho say anso nikal aye.

Us tym mujh ko kuch samjh nahi aya aur main ghr say bahar nikal gaya. Mere pas mobile nahi tha nahi tu usi tym us larke ko bola kar ami ka samna karwa deta. Mgr esa kuch nahi howa. Main nai apne daftr say aik hafte ki chutiyan li aur behn kishadi ki tayariun main lag gaya. Meri pori koshish thi k koi kami na rahe, jahan jahan meri zaroorat hoti main bhag bhag kar agai barhta aur kam karta, mgr amihar kam apne hath say aur khud karma chahti thi. Main nai apne daftr k kuch logon ko bhi shadi kid wt di thi aur us larke ko bhi di thi. Who larka mehndi wale din aya tu us ki shan dekh kar hum sab heran reh gae thy, us ke kapre, gateup sabh kuch awesome tha. Aik lame ko main nai socha “yar main lucky hon jo etna handsome larka mera dost hai” phir khud hi sharam ane lagi k yea main kia soch raha hon. Mera larkon main interest zaroor tha mgr sirf makan malik wale event ke elawa abhi tak kuch aisa nahi hoi tha jis par mujh ko sharmindagi ho. Haan kabhi kabhi masturbation kar lia karta tha.

Esi sahdi ke chakar main pata nahi kon kon say rishte dar peda hona shuru ho gai, aik phuphu nikal aye, ail taya aur 2 mamoon. Sari umr tu kisi ko na dekha aur aaj sabh a gaia aura a kia gae dharna de kar gher main baith hi gae, main ami ki khushi ko dekh raha tha isi liye na ami say kuch kaa naa hi kisi aur say. .

Us larke nai bhi daily ana shuru kar dia us k pas gari thi esi liye mujh ko bht saholat thi. Khudda khudda kar ke barat tak ki rasomat pori hoi, bhn apne ghr ki hoi aur sirf valima reh gaya jo after 3 days tha. Main nai ami say kaha k abh in barsati mendkon ko rawana karain ya humara pora rashin khtm kar k hi jain gay, pata nahi kaha say peda ho gai yea sab pehle tu koi pochne tak ko nahi aya. Ami ne ghusse say meri tarf dekha aur kaha k mehman tu ALLAH ki trf say ate hain tum ko kia pareshani hai apna rizq le kar aye hain aur jab khtm hoga chale jai ge.

Main kiun k bht thak chukka tha isi liye socha k main aik din rest karne kisi k ghr chala jaon mgr samjh nahi araha tha k kis k ghr? Who larka pata nahi kese mere dil ki batain parh lia karta tha. Us ne khud hi kaha k aaj rat tum mere sath chalo subh ajain gai, humare gher main wese bhi sahi say letne ki jaga nahi thi, 2 room thy aur aik bara sa sehn hum sare larke sehn main hi leta karte thy jahan neend ka ana mushkil tha mere liye.

Main nai ami say ijazat mangi tu ami nai foran ijazat day di ar us larke ka numr le lia k agr koi zarorat hoi tu fone kar dain ge. Hum log us ki gari main baith kar apne ilaqe say bahar aa gai, ss larke ne kuch ziada hi mera sth dia tha. Wajha kia thi main yehi soch raha tha, humari dosti koi itni khas nahi thi bus who mere liye assignment laya karrta tha ya admit card jin ki jaga mujh ko imtihan dena hota tha ar meri raqm mere hath main buss. Mgr yeah etna qarib kiun araha hai. Mujh ko soch main dekh kar us ne khud hi bola, “kia soch rahe ho jigr?” main nai kaha “nahi kuch nahi” us ne kaha k agr kaho tu kahi beth kar ek cup tea pelete hain. Main nai kaha han zaroor aur hum nagan chowrangi ke aik hotel par baith gai, “Hum log north Karachi main rehte thy aur who larka gulshan main kahi, us tym tk main nai us ka ghr nahi dekha tha.” Hum nai tea khtm kari, us nai pora tym koshish kari k free hota rahe mgr main apni hi soch ka banda hon, zaroorat say ziada kisi k qarib nahi jata na kisi ko ane deta hon. Mgr us tym mujh ko laga k yeah larka mera best frnd ho sakta hai. Main nai bhi uss k sath hansi mazak main dena shuru kar dia. Hum logon ne tea pi aur us k ghr ki taraf nikal pare, raste main gulshan k bridg par us ne gari roki aur mujh ko gari main bethe rehne ka bol kar kuch lene chala gaya, thoda dair bad aya tu us k hath main 2 shoper thy aik main burger aur dosre main pata nahi kia.

Wahan say us ne apni gari gulshan chowrangi ki taraf nikali aur thoda hi dair main hum uss k ghr pe thy. Gher par us kiami, behnain aur bhai aur dad thy, main nai bht adab k sath sab ko salam kia aur un ki ami nai khane ka pocha tu main nai mana kar dia us nai kaha k agr bhook lage gi tu room main manwa lon gaa. Mujh ko un k gher ka mahool kuch ajib sa laga, sab apne apne main magn thy, esa lag raha tha main kisi hotel main agaya hon aur hum sab alag alag guest hain. Kher mujh ko kia karma tha, main us ke sath us k room main agaya, us ne room main ate hi dono shoper ko aik tarf rakha aur kaha tum shower le lo phir main le kar fresh ho jata hon, mgr main tu apne sath koi dosra kapra laya hi nahi tha. Us ne apna aik short aur t shirt mujh ko dete howe kaha k shower le kar ye pehen lea. Main nai han main han milai, aur bathroom main gus gaya. Thora dair main naha kar bahar nikla tu us ki ami wahan thi ar mujh say pocha k beta kisi bhi cheez ki zaroorat ho tu batana iss ghr koapna hi ghr samjho. Main nai muskura k kaha ji bilkul.

Phir who shower lene chala gaya. Us ka room full of luxuries tha. A/C, king size bed. PC, 32’’ ka tv. Wardrobe bht hi stylish room tha. Jitna saman sirf us k room main tha uss ka adha hi shayad mere ghr main hoga.  Main yehi sochte howe bed per leta aur jane kb kikab main ankh lag gae. Meri kisiahat par meri ankh khuli tu who tv pe koi movie dekh raha tha night bulb on tha aur awaz bht slow thi. S ke hath main glass tha aur glass main sharab thi. Main nai kuch gar bar mehsoos hote hi uth kar betha aur kaha yeah tum kia kar rahe ho? Apne gher main baith kar? Uss ne kaha tumahre liye yeah sab naya hai mere liye nahi. Just chil. Hir us ne cigeret jalai, aur mujh ko offer kari main nai mana kar dia. Us ka yeah roop mere liye bilkul naya tha. Mmain nai us ko bht samjhane ki koshish kari mgr who nashe main tha kuch nahi sun raha tha. Raat ki wajha say na main kahi ja sakta tha aur na hi ziada zoor say bat kar sakta tha. Us ne aik aur glas baaya tu main uth kar khara ho gaya aur pata nahi kiun main nai uss say who glass chin lia, who bhi chonk kar khara howa, ark aha :come on yar, kuch nahi hota, main nai kaha nahi yeh glt hai, tum esa nahi kar sakte, tum bht lucky ho sari saholat hai tumhare pass hir ye sharab ye ayashi kiun? Uss ne kaha k adapt ho gai hai nahi peo gat u beemar ho jaon ga, main nai bhi kuch soche samjhebagr kaha k main tum ko kuch nahi hone don gaa. Us ne kaha soch lo, main nai kaha soch lia aur phir us ke baad us ne jo kia who bilkul achanak aur tezi say howa tha. Us ne meri kamar ko aik jhatke say pakra aur apne honto mere honto par laga diye, ar mere honto ko chosne laga main nai bht koshish kari k khud ko uss say alg karon mgr nahi kar saka who gym fit tha main slim aur esi kisi harkat k liye bilkul tayar nahi tha. Thora dair bad us ne khud ko mujh say alag kia ar kaa k tm so jao es say pehle ka kuch aur ho jae, main nai ghuse main us k moun par aik thapar mara tu who aik taraf baith gaya.

Phir us ne jo kaha who aik esi haqeeqat thi jis say inkar karma khud mere liye bhi mukin nahi tha,

Us e kaha “main aik GAY hon, aur unable for sex bhi, apnea p kop or tarhan khatm kar chukka  hon, mujh main sex ke chaht tu hai magr kuch kar nahi pata, 13 saal ki umr say sex kar raha hon aur abh end ho chukka hon, mgr hawis khtm nahi hoti, esi liye peeta on, awara gardi karta hon aur thak har k ghr ata hon tu su jata hon.”

Main nai us ka hath apne hathon main pakra aur kaha k tum bilkul sahi ho, dashing ho, sart ho, gym fit ho aur baqi ki jo kami hai who bhi khtm ho jae gee. Us ne kaha k main tumhari kandhe par sar rakh kar sona chata hon. Main nai kaha zaroor, raat k 3 baje ka tym tha. Us ka sar mere kadhe par who shayad su gaya tha gr main jag raha tha hazar sawal mere dimagh main thy, main bhi soch raha tha k main iss ko bata do ka shayad main bhi aik gay hon. Fesla wqt per chor kar main bhi sone ki koshish karne laga. Subh 8 baje mmeri ankh khui tu who su raha tha main jaldi jaldi uth kar washroom gaya fresh howa, room main bikhri hoi chezon ki sameta aur us ko uthae laga k mujh ko ghr chor aye ya mujh ko ijazat day, s neb hi uth kar foran shower lia, raat wali baton per excuse kia aur hum nneche aa gai, niche khane ki table par nasta ready tha mgr gher ka koi frd nazr nahi araha tha, main nai jaldi jaldi tea pe us nebhi tea k sath aik slice lia aur hum us ki gari main mere gher ane k lie nikal pare.

Mere gher akar us ne kaha k main jar aha hon sham main chakar lagaon gaa, tu usi tym ami ne bazaar ka koi kam kaha tu who ruk gaya main aik dafa phir us k sath nikal para, valima ki rsm k liye kuch saman lena tha jo liaqatabad aur sadar say milna tha, sara din hi guzr gaya, main pichli rat bhi sahi say aram nahi kar aska tha aur aaj bhi thak gaya tha, kal valima tha, mere kapre abhi tak nahi aye thy. Us ne ami say kaha k hum log tariq road jaa rahe hain jese kapre ye le ga wese hi main le lon gaa. Ami nai kaa thik hai aur agr raat ziada ho jae tug hr nahi ana wahi “(us k ghr ruk jana).

Us ne kaha k thik hai, mgr main abh us k gher ruka nahi chahta tha, pata nahi kiun mujh ko us k ghr main bht ghutan mehsoos hoi thi. Sabh kuch tha mgrkuch na kuch gar bar thi. Main nai us k sath tariq road say aik 2 piece suite lia aur us ko kaha k mujh ko ghr chor day tu who zid karne laga k aaj ruk jao ami ko keh do k late ho rahe hain mujh ko tum say bht batain karni hain. Main nai na mana mgr us ki zid aur zabrdasti k agai nahi ruk saka. Aur kaha k thik hai keh du ami ko, us nai ami say hot kaha k gari kharab ho gai hai aur hum ko late ho rahi hai hum subh ajai gay.

Hum raat 11 baje us k ghr main ghuse, us ki ami nai pehle ki tarhan welcome kia wohi rasmi jumle ada kiye aur apne apne rom main chale gai. Main bhi us k sath us k room main agaya. Dekha tu uss ke last night wali sharab ki bottle us k room fridg main pari hoi thi aur sath hi khane ki troly bhi thi, “iss ka mutlab is k ghr walon ko pata hai k yeah sharab peta hai mgr koi kuch kehta kiun nahi?” agr main ghalti say bhi cigerate ko pakar lon tu ami mar mar k mera bhurkas bana dain. “shayad elite class main esa hi hota ho? Yehi soch kar main chup raha”

Us nai sharab ko bottle nikali main samjha k aaj ye phir piye gaa mgr us ne sari sahrab bathroom main ja kar phaink dali aur mujh say kaha agr tum mere sath ho tu aaj k bad say yeah sharab peena band. Main khushi say utha ar us ko gale laga lia, meri ankhon main anso thy, pehli dafa kisi ne mujh ko meri ihmiyat ka ehsas dilaya tha. Main aikajib say ehsas main tha, hawaon main urh raha tha, k koi hai jis ne mujh ko itni ihmiyat di, main nai shower lia, aur pichli raat ki tarhan bed par agaya, us neb hi shower lia phir hum nai mil kar thora khana khaya us ne aik movie lagai aur mere sath bed par let gaya. Main kiun kbht thaka howa tha pata nahi kabh ki kab main ankh lag gai. Pichli rat ki tarhan meri ankh khulil tu us k hont meri grdn par thy aur hath mere sene par ghom rahe thy, thora dair anjan para raha mgr jabh kch ziada hone laga tu main nai us ko kaha ye kia ho raha hai, us ne kaha tumhare ko mehsoos kar raha hon, kuch soch kar main nai us ko karne dia mgr who aik dam say jazbati ho gaya aur phir meri zindagi ki pehli raat jis ko kabhi nahi bhool sakta shuru hoi,

Main nai bhi uss k jism par hath pherna shuru kia iss asy pehle airf makan malik naikia tha who bhi aik majbori thi aur job hi howa tha unhon nai hi kia tha mgr ye mera pehla tym tha isi liye ghabrahat bhi ho rahi thi, shrm bhi arahi thi aur dar bhi lag raha tha. Main kisi bhi had ko paar nahi karma chahta tha mgr who, har had ko torna chahta tha, romance howa aur bht howa, hum dono nai aik dosre ki jimson ko apni honto aur zaban say gila kar dia us ke baad us ne meri sucking kari pehle dafa ka ehsas alag hi hota hai apna nasha hota hai. Deep throat sucking ka apna hi maza tha. Mujh ko mehsoos howa k main farig hone wala hon tu us ko rokne ki koshish kari magr who nahi ruka aur jabh tak meri cum ka akhri khatra tak na us k halaq say utra us ne mera dick apni moun say nahi nikala, mujh ko ye ajib sa laga, mujhe laga k abh mujh ko bhi aisa hi kara hoga, gr us ka dick active nahi tha. Main nai koshish kari tu us nai rok dia us nai kaha “tumhare honto ki jagah yahan nahi mmere honto hain, phir main nai us ski lip kissing kari, phir us ne mujh ko deep kissing kari, yeh bhifirst tym tha jabh kisi ki zaban mere moun main thi aur main aik ajib say saroor aur nashe main ta. Thora dair baad main aik dafa fir say ful tym active ho gaya tu who bht khush howa, us ne meri grdn par aik kis kartehowe kaha, aaj tum who karo jo main chahta hon, main nai kaha sabh kuch tu ho gaya us ne kaha nahi, meri aag nahi bujhi. Main nai kaha aur kia? Tu us nai kaha bus mujh ko rokna nahi, main chup ho gaya. Us ne aik dafa fir mere jism ko chatna shuru kia, mathe say le kar mere pair tak, hath, seena, belly, sabh kuch hi chataaa… ar aisa chata k main madhoosh hne alga, usi tym uss ne meri aik dafa phir say sucking kari aur jabh main bht ziada hot ho gaya tu uss nai kkaha k sedha lait jaon main sedha leta tu us ne dressing table say aik cream uthai mere dick par lagai aur phir mere dick par bethna shuru kar dia. Jese jese mera dick us k andar jaa raha tha aik garmi ka ehsas ho raha tha, jabh pora dick us ki as main chala gaya tu who thora dair ruka aur mere ko kis karne laga. Thora dair bat uss nai mere dick par riding shuru kar, main hawaon main urh raha tha. Kch hosh nahi tha. Thora dair baad who utha main bhi utha aur us ke kuch kahe bagair us ko lita kar us ki tangain uthain aur apna dick us ke ass main dala aur fucking shuru hoi, iss tarhan kabhi dogy style main kabhi up leg kabhi under body har style main fuck kara, jabh mujh ko ehsas howa k main aik dafa pfir say farig hone wala hon tu ss nai kaha k yeah cum ya tu mere moun main nikalo ya meri ass main. Main nai kaha jesa tum behtr samjho. Us nai tissue say mera dick saf kia aur deep sucking shuru kari. Aur main nashili awazin nikalta howa aik dafa phir us ka moun main hi farig ho gaya, uss ne aik dafa phir meri sari cum ko pee lia. Yea mere lie naya tha. Main thak k bistr par gir gaya, pehli dafa ka sex who bhi 2 tym. Mmgr in dono dafa main aik bhi tym uss main ercition nahi hoi thi who ful tym hot tha, balke wild ho gaya tha mgr dick main eriction nahi thi, shayad esi bat ka zikr us ne pichli raat kia tha. Who bhi bister per lait gaya. Thora dair baad main nai tym dekha tu 4 baj rahe thy. Main nai shower lee ka kaha tu us ne kaha sath hi shower lete hain, hum dono hai washroom main agai, aur shower lene lage, shower lete lete aik dafa fir say us ka dimagh kharb hona shuru howa main already bht thak chukka tha, mgr ussk agai jetna ya us ko rokna bht mushkil tha, es dafa hum ne shower sex kia aur main kafi dair baad discharge howa mgr iss k bad na hi mujh main khara hone ki himat thin a hi kuch aur karne ki, bht bora hal ho chukka tha. Main nai bus short pehna aur bistr par akar gira, us nai aik energy drink nikala aur mujh ko pene k liye dia main nai who piya kuch weafers khae aur bister par gir para aur su gaya, hosh aya tu subh k 11 baj chuke thy aur who mujh ko utha raha tha, mere uthne say pehle who fresh ho kar tayar ho chukka tha. Mgr mujh main abhi tak neend bhari hoi thi aur thakan bhi. Aik aur raat thak kar hi guzari, main nai himat kar k utha.